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Understanding Asexuality

Asexuality has a long history of being overlooked and misunderstood. Asexuality Awareness Week, also known as “Ace Week,” is celebrated from October 22-28 this year. This week, created by Sara Beth Brooks in 2010, aims to teach people about asexuality, both what it is and why it’s a valid sexual orientation.

Many people don’t know much about what asexuality is or what it means to identify as asexual (or “ace”). Here is some basic information!

What Is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. It exists on a spectrum, with sublabels like “graysexual” (sexual attraction to a small degree or in certain situations) and “demisexual” (no sexual attraction unless a strong emotional connection has been established). These categories can help those who identify as ace better understand themselves. Unfortunately, because asexuality is rooted in a lack of sexual attraction, ace people have often been labeled as “broken” or “abnormal.” But ace folks are none of those things!

Some asexual people may also identify as aromantic, which is a lack of romantic feelings for others. However, they are two different identities, and you can identify as ace without being aromantic, or aromantic without being ace.

Why Haven’t I Heard of It Before?

I identify as asexual and I only found out about it because it was the word of the day on a dictionary app! It’s common for people on the ace spectrum to feel confused. “I didn’t know how to describe my feelings for a long time,” says Michael, 16, of Metuchen, NJ. “But once I found out about asexuality, I knew that I was ace, and that cleared up a lot of confusion and uncertainty for me.”

Why don’t more people know about asexuality? For one, there isn’t a lot of asexual representation in TV shows and movies. Representation has increased in recent years, though. For instance, Todd from Bojack Horseman is one of the most famous and well-written asexual characters, and has served as an introduction to asexuality for many.

Other characters who have been discussed as being asexual or aromantic include Jughead from the Archie comics (not the Riverdale version), Sherlock Holmes, Peridot in Steven Universe and Lilith Clawthorne from The Owl House. However, this has typically been clarified behind the scenes by writers, actors, producers and directors, as opposed to a clear depiction on the screen.

Clearly, we need more consistent and accurate representation!

What You Can Do

Whether you identify as ace or not, by reading this article you’re already more aware of asexuality! Be sure to check out and support asexual writers, artists and actors. You can do this through engaging with their work: read a book by an asexual writer, watch a show with an asexual character, watch a movie featuring an asexual actor, etc.

And support your ace friends as well! For ace events during this week, check out Ace Week, and for more about asexuality, check out the Asexual Visibility & Education Network. Remember—it’s important to know about asexuality no matter the week.

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Talking About Let’s Talk Month

Some kids have their first sex education lesson at school; mine was at home. Growing up with a mom who is a sex educator, I was always provided comprehensive, age-appropriate information when it came to sex ed. This has helped me know how to better manage certain situations and also understand myself.

Even if young people receive sex ed in school, it’s still important for parents and caregivers to talk with their kids about sex and sexual health. Opening up this dialogue can allow families to connect, clear up questions kids or teens may have and provide information not given at school.

October is Let’s Talk Month, which takes place every year to encourage families to talk about sex and sexuality. In honor of this, I spoke to my mom, Michelle Scarpulla, MPH, MCHES®, who is currently on the faculty at the College of Public Health at Temple University, about why this month is so important.

Asking Questions and Clearing Up Misinformation

“Will I get sick if I have sex?” I was asked in middle school by a friend who was worried about getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) if they had sex in the future. Too often sex is talked about in a fear-based way, as opposed to teaching how to make it both safe and pleasurable when someone is ready for it.

Questions like these are part of the reason why I feel it’s important for parents and caregivers to talk to their kids about sex, not just during Let’s Talk Month, but anytime. My mom says that having a month to highlight talking openly “brings attention to the importance of parents speaking to their children about sexuality.”

Asking questions and clearing up misinformation are vital parts of what this month is all about.

The Courage to Communicate

A large part of Let’s Talk Month is having the courage to start a conversation. It’s not always easy. “I think some parents are uncomfortable with the topic themselves and don’t know how to discuss it,” my mom says. “Some parents may be afraid of giving information too early and some just may not have the knowledge themselves to share with their children.”

Starting a conversation about sex can be uncomfortable, whether it’s the kid or the parent initiating it. Figuring out how to build open communication can make future conversations feel less awkward.

If it feels difficult to start the conversation, my mom has some recommendations, for you or your parent: “Use a news story, a post on social media or a TV show that discusses some aspect of sexuality as a starting point for conversation.” Or, you can share resources, like these from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA), with a parent or caregiver, which offer additional tips.

Talking Often and Regularly

“Young people who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to put off having sex until they’re older,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. They’re also more likely to make healthy choices like using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STIs when and if they do choose to have sex.

School sometimes focus on STIs or pregnancy prevention, which are important topics. But there are other aspects of sex and sexuality that should be included, like healthy relationships, consent, LGBTQ+ issues, intimacy—physical and emotional—and more.

Taking part in Let’s Talk Month is more important than ever because school sex ed is not automatic. Even when it’s offered, it’s not always thorough or even medically accurate. Open communication at home ensures kids can ask questions to help them make educated decisions when it comes to sex and relationships.

“It’s worth noting that ‘The Talk’ should not be a one-time event,” says my mom. “It should be an open series of age-appropriate conversations throughout childhood and adolescence.”

While Let’s Talk Month is a great time to start having these conversations, talking about and having your questions answered about sex is ideally ongoing. I can speak from experience that it has been super helpful to have this open communication.

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National Coming Out Day: My Story

Did you know that October 11 is National Coming Out Day? A day to celebrate anyone who is LGBTQ+, it honors those who have already come out and those deciding if coming out is right for them. In honor of the day, I decided to reflect on my own coming out story.

A few years ago, my school had a back-to-school night showcasing different school clubs, including the LGBTQ+ club/support group, a safe space where students can openly express themselves and talk about the various aspects of identifying as LGBTQ+. Friends I’d already come out to as bisexual encouraged me to stand at the table with them. Plus, I’d just found out a few days before that October was LGBT History Month—a whole month dedicated to LGBTQ+ pride and history. This fact, combined with my friends’ support, empowered me to come out to more of my friends and family.

Coming from a relatively conservative family, the thought of not being accepted or loved after I came out was scary, so I carefully considered who I would come out to and when. The family members I did come out to were extremely supportive of me and my choice to come out. Even though some didn’t quite understand what bisexuality means, they were eager to learn more. Knowing that my family supports and accepts me, regardless of my sexual orientation, allows me to feel more comfortable around them.

While I’m thankful to have had such a positive coming out story, it’s important for each person to consider their own situation when deciding what the safest choice is for them. Coming out is your choice and who you decide to tell is your right.

In recognition of National Coming Out Day, below are a few things to keep in mind.

Questioning

Questioning your sexual orientation and/or gender identity is completely OK and completely normal. Identifying with a label or choosing not to label is about personal preference and comfort. With more experiences, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, which may lead to identifying with different labels. Sexual orientation and gender identity exist on a spectrum and questioning even after coming out is normal.

Staying Safe

LGBTQ+ people come from all different walks of life with different resources available to each of us. Sometimes the time isn’t right because it may not be safe or comfortable to come out. You shouldn’t feel pressured to come out. It’s OK to go at your own pace. Deciding when, where and who you want to come out to is completely up to you.

Celebrating

National Coming Out Day is also about celebrating everyone’s unique coming out stories! It’s a chance to feel proud of who you are, supported by those around you and connected to others in the LGBTQ+ community.

There’s bravery in deciding what is right for you, whether that is coming out or choosing not to. It can be a difficult decision but whatever you decide, you’re not alone.

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Talking About Book Bans with Author Camryn Garrett

Reading has always been a great way for teens to better understand both themselves and the world. Unfortunately, many books are being banned—via removal or restrictions—from schools, libraries and bookstores. Many are banned due to references to race, gender and sexuality, including sexual orientation, which makes it difficult for many readers to access books with characters who are representative of them.

To spread awareness as well as celebrate and support authors whose books have been banned, the American Library Association (ALA) holds “Banned Books Week,” an annual event taking place October 1-7 this year.

In honor of this, I was lucky to have the opportunity to interview Camryn Garrett (she/her), author of the young adult novels Full Disclosure, Off the Record and Friday I’m in Love. Garrett has been writing since she was young, and was first published when she was a teen. A Black, queer author, she writes books with characters to represent diverse readers.

Garrett’s books have been banned due to discussions of race, sexual health and identity, as well as queer pride. We discussed the importance of representation and diversity in literature, the impact of book bans and what you can do to help.

The Importance of Access to Books

Literature has always been important to Garrett. “I’ve always been kind of shy,” she says. “I loved having books to escape into….reading books about different people in different places exposed me to a lot of things that I never would have experienced or known about.” Garrett says that reading as a teen helped her discover more about her identity, including sexual orientation.

Similar to her experience, Garrett explains the importance for young people to be exposed to diversity. “Kids can see people who might be like them or might not be like them,” she says. “To expose them to different types of living, I think that’s always important. You’re living in your town. You’ve never been anywhere else, and you can see all these different possibilities from books.” Learning about others can both make teens feel less alone and increase empathy for and acceptance of others.

Books can also be a source of security and joy. “Even now I think books are really comforting,” she says. “It’s nice to get out of your own head and go on a journey and adventure.”

Teens Have Questions

Like many others, Garrett didn’t have access to comprehensive sex education as a teen. It’s not that she and her peers didn’t have questions. She remembers her health teacher saying, “I would like to answer your question, but I’m not allowed to, because we’re only allowed to talk about abstinence.”

Books can help readers learn more about themselves in a safe way. “I wanted to create a book where people could explore their sexuality, and explore the idea of sex in general,” Garrett says. “I wanted to be really frank about it, without any stigma or judgment.”

For instance, Garrett wrote Full Disclosure, about a girl who is HIV positive. Garrett says that in her sex ed class, “There was no discussion about how people live with HIV today.” The discussion of HIV/AIDS felt dated, as opposed to including the advances that have been made with prevention and treatment. She wanted to help destigmatize the topic.

Reaching Teens

Garrett says that her books have been banned at least three times. “I have seen libraries say, ‘We’re no longer having this book in the teen room,’” she says. “‘We’re gonna move it into the adult room, and kids will have to ask to take this book out.’ Which isn’t an outright ban [but] it is disheartening because the reason why a lot of authors, especially young adult authors, write the books they do is because they want to reach teens. They want to reach young people.”

When asked about why she thinks there has been an increase in book bans, Garrett explains, “[Books] expose teens to a lot of different ideas and viewpoints, and a lot of these places where bans are happening don’t want that. They don’t want conflict. They don’t want discourse.” This can lead to people not learning how to think critically about situations around them.

How You Can Help

There is some hope. For instance, Illinois has passed a law which prohibits book bans in public schools and libraries. Bans can be difficult to navigate, but Garrett has some suggestions. “Requesting an author’s book at the library is always important,” she shares. “You can also ask to study certain books in class…going to your local library, staying involved, asking your parents to go with you to community and school board meetings, to make it clear that you are not for banning.”

Teens can make a difference. “I think it is really important just making your voice heard in whatever way you can,” says Garrett.

Representation Matters

It’s disappointing that books that teens relate to are being banned, but remember: you are not alone in your experiences. Teens deserve to have comprehensive education and access to a diverse range of books that represent our world.

Thank you, Camryn Garrett, for being a part of this article!

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Did You Know About Intersex Awareness Day?

Intersex Awareness Day started over 25 years ago on October 26, 1996 in Boston. That day several intersex people and their supporters publicly protested the countless, nonconsensual surgeries performed on intersex babies to make them “normal.” Being intersex doesn’t mean you’re not normal. It means a person was born with different traits, like hair or eye color. We don’t perform surgeries on babies so that they all have “normal” eye color. Why would we do the same if a baby doesn’t have typical genitalia?

What Is Intersex?

Not everyone is born with sex chromosomes or traits that adhere to the binary of either male or female. Some people are born with a visible variation in genitalia at birth, while others may lack certain internal sexual organs and not know it until they’re older (sometimes during puberty). And some people may have a variation in sex hormones or chromosomes. The umbrella term for cases like these is intersex.

There are a lot of misconceptions about people who are intersex. A lot of people think it’s a super rare condition, when actually around 1.7 percent of the world’s population is intersex. This is very close to the percentage of people in the world with red hair (2 percent), according to interACT, an organization dedicated to advocacy for children who are intersex.

Why It’s Important

Even if you’re not intersex, it’s important to know about Intersex Awareness Day. You might have a friend who’s intersex. Maybe someone close to you is afraid to tell you they’re intersex. The goal of Intersex Awareness Day is to make intersex people feel safe and accepted while educating others on what it means to be intersex and what they can do to help. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to be open, aware and supportive. Let your friends know about this day and educate them if they don’t know what intersex is. If you’re intersex, remember that nothing is wrong with you or your body.

Want to learn more? Check out interACT and their project #4intersex to learn more about the community and what you can do to help and spread the word.

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We Need World Contraception Day

Every year on September 26th, we celebrate World Contraception Day (WCD), a global effort to bring awareness to a vital topic—access to contraceptives. Launched in 2007, WCD is an international campaign that works toward more comprehensive sexual and reproductive health education around contraceptives, as well as empowering people to make healthy decisions for their lives and futures.

Why Does This Matter to Teens?

Education about and access to contraceptives is always important but even more so lately since Roe v. Wade—the Supreme Court decision that protected the right to have a safe, legal abortion in the U.S.—was overturned. Contraceptives give us some say over when and how we choose to have children.

For many of us, much of sex education happens at school. However, this doesn’t mean it always includes adequate information about contraceptives (translation: various methods of preventing unintended pregnancy). “Thirty-eight states and the District of Columbia (Washington, D.C.) mandate sex education and/or HIV education,” according to the Guttmacher Institute. But what about the other states?

Actually, out of the 38 states that do mandate sex ed, just 20 of them and Washington, D.C. require that information on contraception be included. So, even if your school has sex ed, you may not be hearing about the value of contraception, let alone all the available options.

Educated Decisions

Instead of trying to prevent teens from hearing about sex, it would be helpful for schools to provide comprehensive education (including about contraception), that can help teens make educated choices if and when they do choose to have sex.

I don’t think learning about contraception “encourages” anything except for how to make good decisions about preventing unintended pregnancy. The truth is, many teens do choose to have sex, and shouldn’t they have this information? Even for those who aren’t having sex, it’s still important to know how to prepare yourself for the future. World Contraception Day focuses on this so people can start thinking about and researching types of contraceptives and how they work.

Many Options

There are multiple types of contraceptives available. You can always choose to be abstinent as well, but for if and when you choose to have vaginal sex, there are many options to prevent unintended pregnancy.

One note: while contraceptives are important for vaginal sex, condoms can help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs) for any type of sex, including vaginal, anal and oral. The only kind of contraceptive that prevents both unintended pregnancy and STIs is a condom.

The range of contraceptives available can be overwhelming, as well as understanding how they work and which may be best suited for you and your body. If one way doesn’t seem right, there are other options that may be equally as effective and a better fit for you.

For more information, check out this video and chart. You can always talk with a health care provider to get more information.

So, celebrate WCD for promoting awareness of contraceptives and encouraging people to make appropriate, safe and educated choices for themselves!

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Why Bi Visibility Day Matters to Me

September 23rd is the 24th anniversary of Bi Visibility Day (also known as Celebrate Bisexuality Day and Bisexual Pride Day). It’s an opportunity to show support for people who identify as bisexual and/or biromantic (romantic attraction to more than one gender).

Increased bisexual visibility is the opposite of bisexual erasure, which is an attempt to downplay, deny or devalue bi people. With increased visibility, hopefully some of the misconceptions, myths and misunderstanding about this sexual orientation can be addressed.

Uplifting Bisexual Voices

Why does visibility matter for those who identify as bisexual?

Sometimes there’s an assumption, even within the queer community, that sexual orientation can only be gay or heterosexual. This can push people to attach to labels without exploring their options and what feels most authentic to them. Bias toward and erasure of sexual orientation can impact teens, whether they’re questioning or more sure of how they identify.

When someone feels attraction to more than one gender, “bisexual” often feels like the right, most representative label. But shaming or discrediting bisexuality may lead young people to believe that something is wrong with them if they identify as bi, potentially resulting in confusion or self-hate.

Acceptance and representation is important to uplifting bisexual voices. “Bisexual representation is essential in promoting inclusivity, compassion and understanding,” says Rebecca (she/her), 17, of West Palm Beach, FL. “It validates experiences and fosters a more diverse and accepting society.” By understanding and respecting bisexuality, you are challenging bi-invisibility and validating those who identify as bisexual. Educating yourself and others about bisexuality helps raise awareness!

Some Confusion About Labels

One misunderstanding I’ve seen a lot is around the term bisexual itself. For instance, there is sometimes confusion between the terms bisexual and pansexual.

Bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender. In contrast, pansexuality can be attraction to any gender, or attraction to people regardless of their gender identity. If you identify as pansexual, you may potentially be attracted to someone no matter what their gender identity is, while bisexuality typically means attraction to multiple gender identities.

It’s a nuanced topic and is up to the individual on what fits them the best. I identify with bisexuality because I’m attracted to people across multiple genders but not regardless of them. For me, gender and gender expression is an important factor when it comes to attraction. Therefore, bisexuality is what feels right for me.

The biggest takeaway is that you should have the freedom to identify in a way that feels true to you. And you should not be shamed for that!

This September 23rd, celebrate bisexuality as part of Bi Visibility Day!

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Opill Is Here and It’s Over the Counter

Often, the process of getting a birth control pill involves scheduling, attending and paying for an appointment with a doctor, getting a prescription and then traveling to purchase it at a pharmacy. But soon, there will be another way to get the Pill…and it won’t involve a prescription.

Recently, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved Opill, a birth control pill, to be sold over the counter. They approved it without age restrictions, meaning it will be available to teens. But how does it work? And more importantly, how could it work for you?

A Progestin-only Pill

The Pill is a hormonal contraceptive. It prevents ovulation (when an ovary releases an egg) and thickens the cervical mucus, making it harder for sperm to get to an egg that has been released. There are two types of pills: combination pills (which contain the hormones estrogen and progestin) and progestin-only pills (also called a mini pill). Opill is a progestin-only pill.

Accessibility and Affordability

The plan is for Opill to be available starting in early 2024. The company behind it has said they are committed to making it affordable.

By being the first non-prescription oral contraceptive approved by the FDA, Opill removes long-standing medical barriers. For instance, people without insurance won’t have to worry about going to see a health care provider and paying for a visit to get a prescription.

Several states have already made hormonal contraceptives available with a pharmacist’s prescription (as opposed to a doctor’s prescription), some regardless of age. Opill is the first one that will be available across the U.S. without any prescription needed.

A Health Care Visit Still Matters

Accessibility is awesome, but it’s still a good idea to make an appointment with your health care provider as needed. Discussing contraceptive options, medical history and any concerns with a health care professional can help you make an educated choice about whether Opill—or any birth control pill—is right for you.

If you’re considering OPill for reasons other than preventing unintended pregnancy, like managing menstrual cramps, a health care provider can provide valuable resources and solutions.

Don’t Forget!

The Pill is 99 percent effective with perfect use. “Perfect use” means taking your pill at around the same time every day. Because this doesn’t always happen, the effectiveness rate with “typical” use is closer to 93 percent.

Worried about forgetting? “Habit stacking” is a helpful tool you can use to make the Pill a part of your daily routine! For example, placing it next to your toothbrush, face wash or something else you already use every day at around the same time can make it easier to remember to take it.

Also important to remember is that the Pill doesn’t protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs)—you’ll need a barrier form of contraception for that. This is where condoms come in; pairing a condom and the Pill is a great way to increase effectiveness and prevent STIs.

We’ve Come a Long Way

With federal pushbacks like the overturning of Roe v. Wade, it’s important that we celebrate this progress toward accessible and effective reproductive care!

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Celebrating LGBTQ+ Pride With Music

Pride Month is all about embracing who you are and feeling connected to your LGBTQ+ community. In general, music (often pop!) is a go-to source for queer empowerment and connection.

So, in honor of Pride, I spoke with some fellow LGBTQ+ teens to learn about how music fosters queer celebration, self-love and connectivity!

Queer Empowerment Through Music

When I think of empowerment, one song immediately comes to mind: “Bad Kids,” by Lady Gaga. This track is an anthem for anyone who feels like they don’t fit in. As she sings “You’re still good to me if you’re a bad kid, baby!” over an upbeat pop production, this song never fails to lift my confidence. Gaga turns “bad kid” into a term of endearment for anyone who doesn’t fit in, reminding me to embrace and celebrate my queerness.

Another example of an empowering tune is “Sofia” by Clairo. “I was just starting to accept myself as a queer person at the age of 12,” says Eddie (they/them), 15, of Lawrenceville, NJ. “And one of my first queer friends at the time showed me [Clairo’s] songs. Her lyrics, especially in her song ‘Sofia,’ were ones that I could relate to as a ‘baby gay,’ and I’ve been listening to her ever since.”

With lyrics such as “You and I shouldn’t feel like a crime,” the song tells the story of falling in love as a queer person, despite heteronormative expectations. This is an experience that many queer teens can relate to, and a huge part of feeling empowered is seeing yourself represented in media like music.

Queer Community Through Music

Music is also a great way to connect with fellow LGBTQ+ teens! Listening to uplifting pop (“Emotion” by Carly Rae Jepsen comes to mind) on evening car rides with my queer friends has brought us closer. Within and beyond these car rides, music has helped me find a sense of community and learn that I’m not alone.

It’s not just pop but also other genres of music that can help LGBTQ+ folks connect. “The Broadway community [has] the biggest network of queer teens bonding over a love of show tunes,” says Madeline (she/her), 18, of Ponte Vedra, FL. “These songs explode with vulnerability, emotionality and connectivity. They make us feel like a part of a whole, even in isolated circumstances.”

Connectedness is a feeling that sticks with you, whether you’re with friends or on your own. Music is not only a vehicle for queer bonding, but also an ongoing reminder of shared pride and joy in being queer.

Feeling the Pride

So, does that mean finding queer pride through music is the same for everyone?

Nope! People find empowerment and connection through music in many different ways. To celebrate Pride this month, seek out music that makes you feel excited and glad to be exactly who you are.

Turn up the music, and turn up the self-love!

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LGBTQ+ Teens and Mental Health: What Can Help

Unfortunately, LGBTQ+ teens often deal with stressors like discrimination and bullying, which can negatively impact their mental health. This includes increased depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and behavior. As we close out Mental Health Awareness Month (May) and welcome Pride Month (June), it’s the perfect time to raise awareness about mental health struggles for LGBTQ+ teens. Increasing visibility to these issues is more important than ever due to things like the “Don’t Say Gay” law in Florida, which prevents teachers from even mentioning sexual orientation or gender identity in school.

Although many teens’ mental health is affected by anti-LGBTQ+ measures and prejudice, there are also sources of support. I talked with some teens about their experiences and what has helped them.

The Facts

Just because someone identifies as LGBTQ+ does not mean they will struggle with depression or anxiety. However, the lack of acceptance they often face makes them more likely to. For instance, 73% of LGBTQ+ youth reported experiencing symptoms of anxiety and 58% reported experiencing symptoms of depression, according to The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, which collected data from LGBTQ+ young people in the U.S. aged 13 to 24.

Inclusivity and Acceptance

Self-acceptance can be difficult for LGBTQ+ teens. “I didn’t accept myself for the longest time,” shares Lily, 17, of Orlando, FL, who uses she/her pronouns. “I still felt societal pressure to be straight and I loathed that part of who I am.” As she worked to increase her self-worth, she found having peers that validated and accepted her to be helpful.

For some young people, their parents/caregivers, friends and peers show acceptance and respect. For others, like my friend Ella (not her real name), 16, of Colmar, PA, that’s not always the case. Ella, who uses she/her pronouns, says she knew her parents did not support people who are LGBTQ+. It was difficult for her to find the courage to come out to them as a lesbian. Unfortunately, when she did, she was told something was wrong with her. Reminder: there is nothing wrong with you if you identify as LGBTQ+. Over time, she developed symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Luckily, Ella felt inclusivity from her friends. With help from them and the school guidance counselor, she learned to accept herself.

I should add that not everyone feels comfortable coming out to family members. If there is any concern that family will not be supportive and there is a risk of abuse or neglect, it may be better to not reveal this part of yourself to them at this time and seek acceptance and support elsewhere.

What Can Help

As mentioned, having a solid group of friends or peers to talk with can be beneficial. “In times of difficulty, my friends were usually where I went,” says Lila, 16, of Marlton, NJ, who identifies as genderqueer and uses he/him pronouns. “Whenever I was scared or anxious…they were able to help and provide some comfort.”

Having a safe space allows for a sense of belonging. This can be different for different people. For some, it can be friends or family. For others, it can be a safe online space like Q Chat Space or TrevorSpace. Involvement in a sport or other extracurricular activity or hobby can bring a sense of community. So can being part of a GSA (which can stand for Gay–Straight Alliance, Gender-Sexuality Alliance, or something else) at school. Additionally, LGBTQ+ youth who found their school to be LGBTQ+ affirming reported lower rates of attempting suicide, according to The Trevor Project survey mentioned above.

Everyone is different, and it may feel difficult to find what works. Please know that there are resources to help LGBTQ+ young people when they are struggling.

 

If you are experiencing any distress and would like to talk to someone, check out these resources:
The Trevor Project
The Jed Foundation

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